


(I'm Never Going To Get) Over You

by Bisexual_Fangirl_Forever



Series: Swordfish [11]
Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Crying, Gen, Grieving, Hair, Hallucinations, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Mental Breakdown, Ondine (Miraculous Ladybug) has PTSD - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-16
Updated: 2021-01-16
Packaged: 2021-03-18 11:34:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,096
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28742568
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bisexual_Fangirl_Forever/pseuds/Bisexual_Fangirl_Forever
Summary: Ondine used to have long hair, she wanted to be the new Rapunzel! But then the fire happened, and it all got fried off.These past few months she had let it grow out of control....but what if it triggered something she didn't want to?
Relationships: Ondine (Miraculous Ladybug) & Original Male Character(s)
Series: Swordfish [11]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2001499





	(I'm Never Going To Get) Over You

**Author's Note:**

> I am once again recomending that you read "Just Keep Swimming, Until You Can't Anymore" because it will make SOOOO much sense in this, also, I myself do not have PTSD. What I am writing is simply from what I have researched, definitely not accurate as can be, so if I have gotten anything wrong please politly tell me in the comments!

_{It really sinks in, you know, when I see it...in stone.  
_

_'Cause you went away.  
_

_How dare you?  
_

_I'll miss you!  
_

_They say I'll be okay....  
_

_But I'm not going to! Ever get over you...}_

Ever since Ondine was little she had a hard time reading out loud. She could read all right in her mind, but when it came to doing out loud she stuttered and it took her longer then normal. Robin realized this, and he took it upon his small self to read to her instead of the other way around. 

One night they were doing just that, Robin in her room. They were twelve, sitting on the girls bed, Ondine leaning on his shoulder, her brother reading a picture book about princess who was locked in a tower for her life. She had long blond hair, and it looked like the most silky substance the girl had ever seen. 

Ondine sat up, her hands moving up to her own red hair. It went down to the tips of her shoulders. Robin paused what page he was reading and looked to his twin, putting the book down and shifting so he was sitting in front of her.

“What are you doing?" He asked. "We were reading.” 

“Birdie do you think I can have my hair like Rapunzel?” She asked, turning to him. Robin thought for a moment before nodding his head vigorously. 

“Yeah! Then you could stay in a really large tower,” he extended his hands as big as he could to exaggerate what he meant. “And your knight in shining armor can come to save you!” 

Ondine grinned. She jumped off the bed, book forgotten. The small girl ran into her closet and grabbed a sundress she was only allowed to wear on special occasions. This was special enough! 

“And then I can get married and live happily ever after!” The two began to plan long and hard about how Ondine was to be the new long haired princess, and for the three years after she grew her hair. 

The longest it had ever been was down just barely reaching mid back ...and she was never able to grow it out longer because...because...

....

Smoke is why Ondine had jumped out of bed from where she was playing with her puzzles. Fire is what sent her to look for her brother. And an exploding stove is why she was flat on her back. 

The smell of smoke was laced with other scents, like the agonizing smell of burned flesh and hair. The girl wasn’t able to focus too much on it, as strangers with helmets and masks entered the kitchen, and she found herself getting whisked off into a dreamland of sorts. 

When she woke up she was in a stiff bed with covers so white it was blinding. There was bandages wrapped around her chest and stomach, more on her legs and arms as well. Ondine looked around, finding only her dad by her side. Where was Robin?

”Dad...?” She croaked, throat dry and hoarse. The redhead began to cough, her father by her side almost immediately. 

“Oh, oh my Ondine,” he whispered, clutching her hand and placing a hand on her head. “I am so sorry I wasn’t there.” 

His eyes were wet and his face was red. She was sure he was crying just before, but the thought on why didn’t catch up to her before the news had struck. The tv was blaring in the corner, a younger Nadja reading off of some script. 

“A massive house fire in Paris today, a little girl injured and in the hospital,” she paused. “Her twin brother dead, authorities say he was laying on the ground when they found him, and that if it wasn’t the major burns that killed him it would have been the amount of smoke that entered his lungs. The fire was-“ 

Suddenly the tv was shut off, her father slamming down the remote on the girls bedside table. It was then that it hit her. She was in the hospital. Her house was on fire. She had tried to save- _Robin._

”Dad,” she began, already feeling dread build up in her stomach. “Where’s Birdie?” 

The adult only stared at her for a minute or two, searching for something in her eyes. He sighed and rubbed his own green ones, looking down at her paper like blanket with sadness so deep is hard to describe. 

"He's...he's somewhere else now," Corbin finally said. "He's getting better somewhere else hon." 

At then moment she didn't know that meant he was dead, she just thought he was staying at a different floor or hospital. Ondine only learned he was gone for good when she was discharged, and she cried and cried until she had no tears left. No tears left when she stood in the middle of her brothers blackened room, that couldn't even be recognized as a children room, her arms wrapped tightly around herself as the lonely and empty feeling washed over her. No tears when she found that the fire charred chunks of her hair, the long locks needing to be cut short to be even again. 

She never let it grow out after that, her dream of having long hair burned and dead-just like Robin. Years had passed since that day and she was 15 now, in a new house, a new room, new everything. Since the stress of finally unpacking and all the bombardment of school work, she hadn't been keeping her hair in check, and that's why when she saw herself in the mirror one evening she froze. 

Her usual short bob was overgrown, longer then what she was used too. It went down to just brush her shoulders and she stared at it, feeling a lump in her throat form. Her hand went up to touch it, raking her fingers through it. She started at the top of her head and went down to the tips, grabbing at the ends and tugging at them. 

She groaned, rubbing her eyes. The hair was something so small, yet it caused something inside of her to twist and give a sour taste in her mouth. She hadn't had long hair since the accident, and she didn't want that long hair anymore! It reminded her too much of that night. The girl could feel the memories coming from the back of her brain, itching to be able to become free and make Ondine think about it. 

Quickly and with a racing mind and heart she reached to open up the mirror, it also being the medicine cabinet. Her hands were shaking as she reached for the first aid kit, accidentally knocking over bottles of pain killers and toothbrushes in a cup. She tried to keep her breathing normal as she stumbled to open it, taking a couple tries to do so. 

She wasn't able to wait for a hairdressers, she needed to get rid of this length, and now. Ondine ripped out the trauma scissors, they would have to do. The young girl closed the mirror and was about to put the scissors to her hair when she saw someone that made her stop and simply stare. 

He was older now, longer hair with his heart shaped glasses. The freckles that his sister would spend hours connecting like dots. The small smile he had, meaning he either pitied her or missed her. 

“What are you doing?” Robin asked. Ondine quickly turned around, still finding herself alone in the bathroom. How was her twin in the mirror? 

“I always loved your hair,” he said. “Why don’t you keep it the way it is?” 

The alive one felt herself tremble even more, tears beginning to roll down her face. She shook her head over and over, nervous laughter filling the air. 

“No, no, no, no, no,” she repeated. “You’re dead, I shouldn’t be listening to you.” 

With that she began to chop at her hair, the locks being cut off in different sized chunks all over her head. She was starting to look like what would happen if a toddler tried to cut his dolls hair. 

“Riptide,” the nickname stung, but the girl kept going. “Stop. You need to put the scissors down and address what happened.” 

She didn’t respond, simply watching as red hair sprinkled into the sink. ‘No’ was being repeated over and over in her mind. 

“Riptide listen to me-“ 

“I’m not listening to you!” She threw the scissors down onto the side of the sink, staring up at the mirror. Her hair was uneven, but it was still long, and it made her want to tear it out of her scalp. 

“Ondine why are doing this?” 

“I don’t want to think about that night! I couldn't save you!" The girl grimaced and covered her ears, groaning as her brothers voice still cut through it all. It would've been better if he told her the truth-that she wasn't able to save him. 

"Why are you blaming yourself?" He asked, face blank as he stared into Ondine's frantic eyes. She shook her head and bent over, keeping her ears covered and shutting her eyes tightly. She wasn't able to take this, she needed him to get away. 

"B-becuase it's my fault you're...you're..." she couldn't finish the sentence, feeling a sob try to escape her lips. 

"Riptide, this isn't your fault. You tried what you could-" Robin wasn't able to finish his sentence because of what his sister did next. 

She released what could only be described as a guttural scream and she uncovered her ears, smashing the mirror with tears going down her face. Over and over again she hit the glass with her fists, ignoring her tears and the blood dripping from her hands.   
  


She finally finished hitting it when she realized how shattered it was, glass sprinkled all over and around her feet, mixing with her chopped hair in the sink, stuck in her hands. 

Ondine shook, stepping back and simply staring at her distorted reflection. Her hands were still shaking, stained red, and she fell to her feet with them close to her chest. 

Her whole body shook as she cried, and on instinct she went to clutch her hair, but it only dug the glass in her hands in farther. She cried out, her eyes screwed shut tight as memories from that night flew back to her. They were ones she didn’t want to relive again, ones didn’t want to dwindle on, ones she didn’t want to even think about. 

The 15 year old stumbled back, falling to the ground, hitting her head against the wall. Her hands were bleeding, hair was horrible, and was curled up in a ball with her hands cupped in between her body and legs; of which the limbs were up against her chest with her head resting on top of them. 

Suddenly, a loud knocking filled the room. 

“Ondine?” Came the sweet voice of her father, Corbin. “I know I’m home early, but the neighbors heard a loud crash and I was able to have a coworker take my shift. Are you alright?” When she didn’t respond he knocked again. 

“Ondine? Honey?” The dad tried the door, finding it unlocked. He entered, worried for his daughter, and gasped in what he saw. 

Still in his scrubs the adult didn’t wait to fall to the ground, trying his best to avoid the glass on the ground as he hurriedly gathered her in his arms. Corbin began to rock her back and forth, carding his hand through her hair, noting to ask why it was so oddly cut. 

“My baby girl, what happened?” He asked, worry eating up at his insides. Ondine didn’t respond, only leaning against her fathers warmth as she sobbed, accidentally revealing her hands.

Corbin’s breath hitched when he saw them in such a state, connecting the dots on what she had done. He was oh so thankful to be a nurse, as now he knew what to do. Carefully, he reached up to the sink, grabbing the first aid kit and bringing it next to him. He would use it when his daughter calmed down more, not wanting to hurt her while she was in this hysterical state. 

Later, they would talk, and Corbin would sign his daughter up for a doctors visit, a hair stylist, and they would talk more about hobbies she could take to keep her mind occupied. 

He had heard swimming was a great way to pass time...

**Author's Note:**

> Fun fact: I imagine Corbin with crazy and fluffy red hair that he wears in a huge and messy bun, and a medium beard the same color. He has the “Dad bod” as well and likes to wear blue.
> 
> Title and lyrics from this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Y2icHOgC5U and its a song i recently learned was about losing a brother and not a lover so like I defintily cried while listening. 
> 
> I like to imagine that Ondine writes it for a contest Kitty Section holds, and she wins, so Rose and the band end up playing it at a concert. Now I have a fic idea gosh darnnit.


End file.
